Sex and Sanctification

"It is God’s will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality; that each of you should learn to control his own body in a way that is holy and honorable, not in passionate lust like the heathen, who do not know God;  and that in this matter no one should wrong his brother or take advantage of him. The Lord will punish men for all such sins, as we have already told you and warned you. For God did not call us to be impure, but to live a holy life. Therefore, he who rejects this instruction does not reject man but God, who gives you his Holy Spirit." 1Thess 4:3-8

"Do you not know that the wicked will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor male prostitutes nor homosexual offenders nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God." 1Cor 6:9,10

If you are an adulterer, fornicator, masturbator, homosexual, or the like then you are not living the Christian life. You are failing in a significant way to follow the will of God. Take this seriously and deal with it.

Habit or Choice makes no difference

"But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart."Matt 5:28

"If your right eye causes you to sin, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell." Matt 5:29

Job was aware of such temptation and came up with this application, "I made a covenant with my eyes not to look lustfully at a girl." Job 31:1

"put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh, to fulfill its lusts." Rom 13:14

While many Christian men recognize these facts and express the desire to be sexually pure, yet many excuse their sexually immoral behavior on the basis that they are too weak to overcome their sexually deviant habits. The New Testament makes no provision for such an excuse. It simply indicates that if you are sinning, then stop sinning. But of those who excuse themselves saying that they cannot stop sinning because they are slaves to their flesh, then what can we say?

While they may claim to believe in justification by faith, yet they walk in darkness. For they neither believe nor experience Jesus as Savior from their enslavement to sin as Paul indicates in Romans 6:11-15"Likewise you also, reckon yourselves to be dead indeed to sin, but alive to God in Christ Jesus our Lord. Therefore do not let sin reign in your mortal body, that you should obey it in its lusts.  And do not present your members as instruments of unrighteousness to sin, but present yourselves to God as being alive from the dead, and your members as instruments of righteousness to God. For sin shall not have dominion over you, for you are not under law but under grace. What then? Shall we sin because we are not under law but under grace? Certainly not!"

Those who have been born of God overcome sin due to the nature of regeneration.

"No one who lives in him keeps on sinning. No one who continues to sin has either seen him or known him. Dear children, do not let anyone lead you astray. He who does what is right is righteous, just as he is righteous. He who does what is sinful is of the devil, because the devil has been sinning from the beginning. The reason the Son of God appeared was to destroy the devil’s work.  No one who is born of God will continue to sin, because God’s seed remains in him; he cannot go on sinning, because he has been born of God." 1John 3:6-9

"This is how we know who the children of God are and who the children of the devil are: Anyone who does not do what is right is not a child of God; nor is anyone who does not love his brother." 1John 3:10

Non-Christians are enslaved to sin. Sin is the master of their house. But when one puts his faith in Christ as Lord he is saved from the mastery of sin because Christ becomes Lord of his house. Yes, sin still infests his house and thus there is is a battle going on. But the Christian has no excuse for submitting himself to obey his sinful nature. That nature has lost its mastery over the Christian.

So don't let sin deceive you into believing that it is still in charge. By faith overcome sin. "For whatever is born of God overcomes the world. And this is the victory that has overcome the world——our faith.  Who is he who overcomes the world, but he who believes that Jesus is the Son of God?" 1John 5:4,5

If you believe that Jesus is the Son of God, then you have the power to overcome sin. If you don't believe that, then you're not a believer.

"No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it." 1Cor 10:13

1. No excuses - stop believing that you're a slave to sexual sin.

2. Don't obsess over sexual sin. I remember a guy I was discipling who once came to me obsessing over his enslavement to sexual sin. You know, it really doesn't help to talk about it. Just stop sinning. I remember also see a Columbo episode in which, in investigating a murder, he did went to a group therapy clinic in which patients would talk about their sexual problems in a group setting. He thought they were pretty much nuts to try to solve such problems through discussion. Don't over analyze sexual problems. Just stop sinning.

3. But Make it a priority. If God's will for your life is sexual purity then make it a measure of your sanctification. Yes there are other aspects of sanctification, but if you're involved in sexual immorality then how much do they really matter. The Bible puts a high priority on sexual purity and strongly condemns sexual immorality.

4. Avoid unnecessary contact with women. This is somewhat of a "Well Duh!?" If a person has a drinking problem, it doesn't help if he regularly goes to bars. Don't disciple women on an individual basis. Older women can disciple the younger women. As for dating, don't do anything that you wouldn't feel free to tell your future wife, even if she may not turn out to be the one you're dating. Do nothing which you may later regret. Sex is reserved for marriage.

5. Most significant of all, and I would say the primary way of escape from sexual temptation is simply DISTRACTION. That is, to set one's heart and mind away from the the object of lust to something which is good and edifying. The Bible instructs us, "whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable— if anything is excellent or praiseworthy— think about such things." Php 4:8

Lust is primarily a battle for the mind. If you feel a lustful thought coming on, then simply think about something else. Obviously I'm referring to something else which is neither sinful nor related to sex or women. In fact why not plan beforehand to have something else to think about - a distracting thought - and agree that if temptation comes that you will distract your mind with that thought or question or area of meditation. What is it unrelated to sex which interests you. You might think of some sport, or issue of theology, math, science, or issue at work or at home, or even simply an object. There's lots of things to think about. An object is the easiest thing. Just physically looking at some non-sexual object and thinking about it, analyzing it, engineering it in your mind is usually more than sufficient to distract one from sexual temptation.

If that is not enough distraction then you need to involved other senses, but again they must be non-sexual in nature. Touching a physical object or listening or even smell - these are all immediately available and can provide further distraction. It's important to be alert and react immediately to temptations. God may also provide his own distraction for you, though it may be in the form of pain. Even Paul experienced that, "To keep me from becoming conceited because of these surpassingly great revelations, there was given me a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me." 2Cor 12:7 Pain is a great distraction, but it's often devalued in hedonistic sects of Christianity so common today. In fact if you find you don't have the self-control to distract your thoughts then maybe you should pray that God will grace you with some chronic pain. This is also another reason to rejoice in suffering, "for he who has suffered in the flesh has ceased from sin." 1Peter 4:1 In fact you should learn to hate your former lusts. Teach your heart to reckon contemptously those feelings which formerly enslaved you. God speaks of sin as being abominable and unclean in his sight. So should we.

"And I will make an everlasting covenant with them, that I will not turn away from doing them good; but I will put My fear in their hearts so that they will not depart from Me." Jer 32:40

The Perseverance of the Saints is not the same as the concept of Eternal Security, though both are true. Of those born of God under the New Covenant it can both be said, "Once saved, always saved" AND ALSO "Once saved it is inevitable that such people will persevere in a faith and a lifestyle consistent with that faith to the end, due to the nature of regeneration."

Therefore "let us not commit sexual immorality, as some of (the Israelites) did, and in one day twenty-three thousand fell." 1Cor 10:8 For sexual immorality has spread like a plague in the Christian community.

"For this reason God gave them up to vile passions. For even their women exchanged the natural use for what is against nature.  Likewise also the men, leaving the natural use of the woman, burned in their lust for one another, men with men committing what is shameful, and receiving in themselves the penalty of their error which was due." Rom 1:26,27

But rather than argue further over such passages let's consider something even more basic which logically eliminates homosexuality as a valid Christian lifestyle, namely

1. The Bible indicates that Christians should not even be engaged in any sexual activity outside of marriage.

2. The Bible indicates that marriage is between a man and a woman.

But of the "homosexual Christians" and others such Christians who advocate immorality it could be said that "certain men whose condemnation was written about long ago have secretly slipped in among you. They are godless men, who change the grace of our God into a license for immorality and deny Jesus Christ our only Sovereign and Lord."Jude 1:4 That is, as Paul says, "They claim to know God, but by their actions they deny him. They are detestable, disobedient and unfit for doing anything good." Titus 1:16

"I am writing you that you must not associate with anyone who calls himself a brother but is sexually immoral or greedy, an idolater or a slanderer, a drunkard or a swindler. With such a man do not even eat. What business is it of mine to judge those outside the church? Are you not to judge those inside? God will judge those outside. 'Expel the wicked man from among you.'" 1 Corinthians 5:11